Today, what I've realized that... maybe I am too nice.
Aside from the frequent "scoldings" I get from my sister for being too nice, I've never really realized it until now...
Lately, I've been really tired. Tired of school, tired of my friends at school, tired of problems at home and tired of being nice. But why do I still persevere through it all and... continue to dread through school, continue to hang out with my friends, whom I have so much trouble loving, strive to help others and their issues, and strive to be nice.
I wonder, am I really being nice? What is nice?
I just want everyone to be happy. Of course, with God as my first priority and no other compromises.
I'm just so tired. I really just want some time for myself.
Lately, I've been thinking, maybe I should drop out of school after this year and come back a year later and finish my high school years then continue onto post-secondary life.
I've been longing for a year to have a "long" me-and-God moment; to see what He wants for me and discover for myself, does being a Christian necessarily mean being overly nice? Sure, we should be meek, but meekness and taking advantage of are two very different subject matters.
Perseverance is all I need right now.
I am a follower of Christ. A trader and not just a missionary.
I need to re-discover what a trader is.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
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