Fake Pain?

It's late... like really late, but I guess, I wanted to put in a new blog entry before I leave for my music retreat.

Believe or not but... I really don't want to go to this retreat.

It's just that, it's not that fun, and I guess... I had a bad experience from it?

Like last year, I got a stomach flu. But this trip is mandatory... so, that's uncool. Sad face?

But through this trip, perhaps I'll be able to get something out of it? I know I will, even if it's not music related.

This sorta reminded me of my spiritual walk... I guess, I had "bad experiences". Things weren't going the way I wanted them to be, I was just so lost in life, life sucked, etc. But I know that through this "pain", it can benefit me... what am I talking about? I know nothing about pain. If I call this pain, then what's the pain that God experiences everyday 'cause of our sins?

I know this is a bit weird, but that totally reminded me of one of the Naruto episodes I watched.

"What do you know about pain? You surely don't understand the pain that I've experienced." - (Pain/Nagato from Naruto Shippuden)

Or something along the lines of that. And like... that line.. it reminded me of God, and maybe it's 'cause of the video I watched today with NHGz, but like honestly. What do I know about pain? I surely don't understand the pain that God experienced.

I'm weak, I know. No matter how much I want to depend on myself, I always find myself leaning on God's shoulders, depending on Him. This just shows how weak I am, how much I have to depend on God, and how powerful He is.